The weather was PERFECT for today’s hike. It’s that wonderful time of year when it’s not really still summer, but it’s not quite fall yet, either. The crickets and cicadas sing in the morning and the shadows are noticeably longer. There’s a little bit of that smell of fallen leaves baking in the sun. Needless to say, I was in heaven.
About half an hour into the hike, I caught myself doing something I do all the time on these walks…I had gotten lost in my thoughts and was only looking down at the trail in front of me as I walked. Now of course, looking down at the trail now and then is a good thing…helps you avoid things like yellow-jacket nests, tree roots, or my personal favorite: 8-foot-long rat snakes. But often I’ll go quite a distance without looking up and before I know it, I have missed out on some really beautiful scenery. Which brings me to today’s topic: How focusing ALL of our attention on our search for a life partner can actually make us miss out on some pretty awesome things.
In the past I have spent a serious amount of time obsessing over my search for Mr. Right. As in, sitting in front of my computer for hours on end, constantly refreshing the page to see if anyone new has viewed me on my dating site of choice. Or, back in the olden days before we had cell phones and texting, staying home to wait by the phone in case I missed that call I was hoping to get from my latest scope. I didn’t dare miss a singles event, even if it meant canceling on a prior commitment or participating in an activity I didn’t love (in my case, camping). If I wasn’t actively doing something to change my single state, I was antsy and unsatisfied.
To me this is the equivalent of not looking up from the trail as I hike. I said no to a lot of opportunities to hang out with friends or do something fun because I couldn’t see the immediate benefit to my search for a life partner. I didn’t sign up for that awesome women’s Bible study because, let’s face it, probably not going to meet the man of my dreams there. My admittedly narrow focus kept me from doing a lot of things that would have led to deeper relationships, opportunities for self-development, and chances to experience joy in new and interesting ways. In other words, I missed out on some pretty solid opportunities to learn, grow and just enjoy life. Things I might not have the opportunity to do once I am married and have my own family. And just a sidebar: all the obsessing did not result in me finding “the one”.
In terms of my hike today, not looking up would’ve meant missing out on this:
And this:
And finally, this:
All this to say, there is so much beauty and joy around us every day. If you are feeling miserable because your search for a life partner hasn’t borne fruit yet, why not try “looking up from the trail”? You may be surprised at how much joy you can add to your life just by giving yourself a break from the frantic search to find that special someone now and again. I challenge you to find one new thing to say “yes” to where the main purpose is not a singles mixer.
Oh, and by the way…looking up from the trail, I’ve run into quite a few very nice gentlemen out for a hike in the woods! 😉
