Week 45!  And it’s super hot here in Baltimore!  The humidity doesn’t feel great, but boy, does it make for some pretty pictures.  The picture above, however, might not be considered pretty, depending on who you are.  I took it on my week 44 hike of a tree that is literally right on the trail.

That there’s a bear claw mark.

We have breeding populations out in the western counties of Maryland, but I was a bit surprised to see it and wondered if someone faked it.

Nope.

Bear sightings (momma with cubs) started popping up in the surrounding area within the next few days.  I have a feeling they’ve been around for a while and we are just starting to notice.

I’m not gonna lie; it made me a little nervous as I prepped to do this week’s hike.  And nervous is not the way I want to be feeling during what is usually among the most pleasurable hours out of any given week.  I wanted to continue to hike each week feeling calm, relaxed, and prepared.

In order to feel that way, I knew I would have to be thinking “I know what to do if I encounter a black bear.”

Only problem was, I didn’t.  So I did some research on the  MD Dept. of Natural Resources website.  Turns out black bears are pretty skittish and my best bet was to make sure any bears in the area would have no doubt that I was a non-threatening human.  The recommendations included talking in a calm voice, backing away slowly, and using pepper spray if need be (although, apparently if you are close enough to be using pepper spray, you’re probably in some serious trouble).

So armed with handy tips from the DNR and the comfort of knowing there would be other hikers on the same trail (maybe they would be slower than me in a case where we had to run away!) I set out this week and felt calm instead of nervous.  And I really enjoyed my hike.

I love this power.  I learned it at The Life Coach School: I can decide how I want to feel about any given situation or person and then figure out what I would have to be thinking in order to feel that way.

A good “fer-instance” that doesn’t involve bears and pepper spray is my experience trying to find a parking spot in a crowded lot.  Whether people park in the lines or not used to make or break my mood.  I’d see a perfectly good empty spot ruined by the car next to it…because it was parked over the line.  And I would get angry.  “What an inconsiderate a$$hole,” I would think as my blood pressure started to rise.

I got tired of starting every shopping trip or movie outing feeling frustrated, resentful and irritated.  I realized that I was assuming the person parked over the line on purpose.  Or at the very least, I figured they didn’t bother to check to see if they were taking up more than their allotted space.

But there’s another option that now never fails to defuse my anger:  it’s entirely possible that the offender in question had to park that way because of how the car next to it had parked.  I couldn’t possibly know, right?  Why feel angry and frustrated when I can give the person the benefit of the doubt and go about my day feeling relaxed and calm?  (Of course, if the offender is the last person in the row and they do that, I have to dig a little harder for an alternate explanation for their actions – one that by necessity would have to involve a case of sudden explosive diarrhea.)

What is it about this week that has me thinking about other people having explosive diarrhea, you ask?

You may have noticed (if you’re breathing and conscious) that there are a few topics of conversation that have our nation pretty divided at the moment (and I’m not just talking about Kim Kardashian vs. Taylor Swift). I’m seeing a good amount of stress being put on long-time friendships because of differences in beliefs, politics, and values.  It’s happening where I work and where I worship.

Maybe it’s happening to you.  Maybe you’re finding yourself angry at a dear friend.  Or feeling like you want to punch a co-worker in the face.

I don’t know about you, but feeling angry and upset with someone who I usually think of as a friend doesn’t feel good.  I don’t like feeling that way.  I am much more peaceful and joyful when I am feeling love towards the people around me.

So try asking yourself: ‘How do I want to feel about so-and-so?’  And then figure out what you’d have to be thinking about so-and-so in order to feel the way you want to feel.

I have a coworker who is quite vociferous when it comes to supporting his political candidate of choice and denigrating the opposing party.  I do not agree with a lot of what he says.  Sometimes he makes me angry.

I don’t like feeling angry.  I want to feel love and respect for this person and have a sense of peace when I am around him.  So what would I have to be thinking?

I’d have to be thinking that he isn’t trying to get it wrong.  I’d have to be thinking that he sees the pain and problems going on in our world and he genuinely wants it to stop.  I’d have to be thinking that while I disagree with his way of stopping it, at the end of the day we both believe everyone in this country has a right to enjoy life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Aaahh…that’s better.

Maybe for you it’s a disagreement with someone at church about the best way to promote a new ministry.  Does it help to remember that at the end of the day, the most important thing to both of you is that you want the ministry to succeed?

Or, if you’re single, maybe it’s that person who won’t stop bugging you to join that dating website or trying to set you up with their friends.  Does it help to know that the person is coming from a good place…one that doesn’t want to see you alone or feeling unloved (even if you’re not)?

Whoever you may be feeling impatient/angry/upset/frustrated with, I encourage you to try it out this week:  ask yourself how you want to feel and then find a thought (that’s true or at least as equally valid as the thought you are having now) that makes you feel that way.  Trust me, it’s worked for me EVERY TIME.  And it feels SO much better to live life feeling at peace with my fellow humans.

Let me know in the comments section below how things turn out for you!  And don’t hesitate to sign up for a free session if you’d like help applying this concept to a particular situation.  It takes practice, but you can totally do it!

And just think, If all else fails, you can always carry pepper spray.