Well, it’s been a week since monster winter storm Jonas hit Baltimore.  I was anxious to get back out on the trail for Week 21.  It was supposed to be sunny and not too cold on Saturday, so I set my alarm, dressed in layers, and added traction attachments to my hiking boots.

It took me about half an hour to hike what I would normally cover in about five or ten minutes.  With each step, I sank about a foot into the snow:

I had forgotten my waterproof pants and my quads were KILLING me (imagine essentially doing high knees or using the stairmaster for the entire hike).  I had to accept defeat.  I turned around.  It would be the second week in a row I would be unable to keep my promise to hike the trail once a week NO MATTER WHAT.

This week was different than last week, though.  I did have SOME control over whether I could complete the hike safely or not.  But it would mean spending money on the right gear for a snow hike and giving up my precious nap time on Sunday.  Not to mention the gas I would waste on a second trip up to Gunpowder State Park from my house.

Hmmmm…inconveniencing myself vs. feeling like I gave up…

Week 21 Hike, Take 2

NOW I was cooking with gas.  And I had a marvelous hike.  Two and a half hours in 60 degree weather getting a great workout in an unbelievably beautiful setting.  WHAT A GIFT!!!

I was so happy that I cared enough about myself to make it happen.  To be honest, I probably wouldn’t have felt that bad about skipping this week’s hike…maybe a bit of regret.  But I am so glad I didn’t give up.  The two and a half hours of bliss and the huge feeling of accomplishment I felt were worth WAY more than I spent at REI.  I showed up for myself.  I was ecstatic.

I haven’t always shown up for myself when it comes to the dating world.  I spent years at a time figuring “why bother?” when it came to taking extra time to put together a great outfit and styling my hair the way I knew it looked best from day to day.  For me personally, when I just kind of throw on clothes, put my hair up in a quick ponytail, and go without any makeup, I don’t always have the same spring in my step.  My confidence goes on hiatus.

It’s not because I’m not good enough or pretty enough without makeup or like I have to wear expensive custom-tailored clothing to feel attractive.  It’s because I didn’t bother to take the time for myself to look my best.  There’s a difference between phoning it in when it comes to caring for myself – which includes basic grooming and personal hygiene – and showing up for myself each day.

I walk differently when I take care of myself.  I make eye contact with others, smile, engage with strangers.  I don’t hope that no one sees me like days when I roll out of bed into my sweats and skip the shower.  Showing up for myself feels like a million bucks. Because I can give myself what I’m ultimately looking for – feelings of happiness, being loved, feeling cared about – by doing that every day.  I can show God that I appreciate how He created me and take care of His creation in a way that honors Him.

Yes, most days I’d rather sleep right up to the time I actually get in the car and drive to work; yes, I’d much rather veg in front of the TV than spend time cleaning my house when I know I’m the only one that will be seeing it; and yes, I’d rather be doing anything else than running stairs at the gym under the watchful eye of my trainer…

But.

The inner joy I feel when I know I’ve done things for myself like dress myself in something that matches, dusted every slat on my venetian blinds and done burpees until I can barely walk is vastly superior to extra sleep, TV, or a day off from the gym in my book.

I challenge you this week to find one new way to show up for yourself.  If you’re not already, maybe try making your bed every day so that you have a peaceful, ordered space to come home to each night.  Or take a step towards achieving that goal you’ve always dreamed about but never seem to have time for.  Schedule an appointment for a fun new haircut that flatters you in a whole new way.  Or maybe try something as simple as making sure you get to bed by a reasonable hour every night this week.  Just pick something.  The you that will exist a week from now will look back and thank you for it.

Remember, a happier you is a more attractive you!