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The picture above is where I spent my Week 23 hike. Today I woke up with a raging sore throat and thought to myself: “Maybe hiking in 18 degree weather is not the best thing for my body today.”

My brain answered right back: “But you COMMITTED. 52 weeks in a row. It’s not like there’s a blizzard out there this time. You are giving in. You are not showing up for yourself.”

And I realized I had a choice to make. Because there was no way I was going hiking feeling the way I felt.

The facts were these:

1. When I woke up this morning, I felt a painful sensation when I swallowed.

2. I did not go on my weekly hike today.

My choice was this: What story do I want to tell myself about today? That I am a loser who can’t keep her commitments? Or that I am someone who made a conscious decision to honor my health over being able to brag about toughing it out 52 weeks in a row?

The first story makes me feel like crap. It makes me feel disappointed, unreliable, and embarrassed.  The second story feels a lot better to me. When I think about it, I feel safe, loved, connected to myself, even proud.  Notice that the facts are the facts.  And the stories are both equally valid ways of interpreting the facts.

Let’s put the first thought, that I am a loser who can’t keep her commitments, to the truth test.  REALLY?  Because I didn’t go hiking in 18 degree weather with a sore throat I have negated a lifetime of trying to make my “yes” be “yes” and my “no” be “no”?  I hope you can hear the sarcasm dripping from my keyboard.   And yet my brain goes there.  There’s some little part of myself that still worries that people will think I’m unreliable.

The second thought aces the truth test.  And it feels so much better.  I choose thought number two.

Advil To The RescueThis power to choose our thoughts is especially relevant to those of us who are finding ourselves single when we thought we would’ve been married by now.

In the past, I have been guilty of having told myself these things about my singleness: I am unlovable.  I will always be alone.  I don’t deserve to find a mate.

Boy, do THOSE thoughts not feel good.  They also are basically impossible to prove on the truth scale.  Their only relation to truth is that is I spent some time believing them.

How about some better-feeling true thoughts?  Like:  I AM loved.  I feel the love of wonderful friends and family every day. I am NOT alone.  And unless I have a crystal ball, how can I possibly know that I will never find a life partner?  I deserve to find a mate just as much as anyone else “deserves” it.  The Lord has a plan for every single one of us and I can trust Him to write my story without buying into the lie that He’s holding out on me or punishing me with singleness.

What stories are YOU choosing to think about your singleness?  I encourage you to get out a piece of paper, and write them down.  Then put each one of them to the truth test.  More importantly, put them to the FEELING test.  How do these stories make you feel?  If you find yourself with a painful story, ask yourself if there’s another story that’s just as true but feels better to think.

Let me know what you come up with!   Until next week, I’ll leave you with a picture of my handsome nursemaid.  He has a WONDERFUL bedside manner!

My Nursemaid