Of course after blogging about choosing our thoughts last week, God gave me lots of opportunities to put my money where my mouth is. And it was nice to be able to hike this week looking back on a situation where I actually succeeded in using my choice of thoughts to help make what is usually a bad scenario for me not too bad at all.
It was my first week back to work after two weeks of vacation. My department had a major presentation to the CEO and COO to prepare for…and I found myself working the kind of hours that usually put me in a super-bad headspace. You know, the kind where the date actually changes while you’re still at work.
My go-to thought when this happens, which is way more often than I’d like (which would be never), is that work has taken over control of my life. And that thought never fails to make me feel angry, resentful and anxious. Guess what I do when I feel those things? I get the f**k-its when it comes to my self-care practices. Which typically results in me eating stuff I don’t want to be eating, drinking stuff I don’t want to be drinking, and passing on my prayer and devotional time. Great way to solve the problem of working too many hours, right? Not so much.
I had gotten coached around this pattern in my life this past summer and was able to identify that it wasn’t thinking about how tired or was, or worrying that I wouldn’t get everything done that was causing me the most consternation…it was that thought that I had lost control of my own life. That work had taken over. And giving up on my self-care practices just proved that thought. “Look!” I would say to anyone who would listen. “My life is out of control! I don’t even have time to eat properly!”
It was such a lie.
So this week, as the hour hand continued to wind its way into the next day, I decided that no matter how tired I was, I was going to take care of myself as if I were working regular hours.
I took time to put my clothes away instead of throwing them on the floor. I ate a (relatively) healthy snack before bed. I spent some time in my favorite devotional book. I journaled about the day. And then I went to sleep.
You know when I started to feel better about working so many hours? The minute I decided I was going to continue my self-care practices no matter what. Which was about four hours before I left work on Night One of what I’m now calling The Siege. Once I decided that, I felt better. I felt lighter, more positive about the work I was doing, and much less self-pitying about how late it was.
Was I physically exhausted? Yes. Would I still rather have gotten more sleep this past week? Of course! But I can honestly say that the extra hours didn’t make me feel lousy emotionally. Because I decided not to make them mean that work had taken over my life. I came up with a better thought.
Think about an area in your life that causes you to feel crappy when you think about it. It might be your work, or your singleness, or a situation with a friend. Try to identify exactly what it is about your work, or your singleness, or your friend, that is bothering you so much. What are you telling yourself about that situation?
If what you are telling yourself is causing you emotional pain, it’s time to be the boss of your brain again. What else could you be telling yourself about that situation that is true but less painful than your current line of thinking? It doesn’t have to be that work is wonderful when you have to work extra hours (is that true?). It doesn’t have to be that being single is the best way to live your life (are you truly on board with that?)
Try these on for size: Extra hours at work now and then can help you feel confident and excited about the work product you are putting out. Putting in that time builds evidence for you that you care about your work and can be relied on. Regarding singleness, as I’ve blogged in the past, being single does have some advantages. It doesn’t mean you are unlovable. You never know what tomorrow will bring.
Anything can happen.
I don’t know about you, but that thought makes me feel excited. It feels a whole heck of a lot better than “my life’s out of control” or “I’ll never find a life partner”.
I encourage you to make a commitment to try at least one new thought out this week. If you find yourself not really believing it, try another one. If your thought is still making you feel crappy, go for number three. Keep at it until you find a thought that works for you!
I’ll talk more next week about why finding a better-feeling thought impact way more than just your emotions. In the meantime, let me know in the comments section below what you come up with and how it works out for you!
