The picture above?  Wild blackberries in the making. I’ve been keeping an eye on them week after week, waiting and waiting until that hike where I’ll (hopefully) get to pick a handful and enjoy one of the most wonderful tastes ever created.  This is Week 43 of my 52-week hiking challenge, so maybe by week 45 or 46, if I’m lucky, I’ll hit them at just the right time, when they are ripe, ready to eat, and not already picked by another hiker. (For my mom, if she’s reading this, don’t worry, I’ve eaten these year after year and haven’t gotten sick yet.)

The berries reminded me of a concept I learned about at The Life Coach School Mastermind this year.  Author Thomas Sterner in his book The Practicing Mind talks about embracing the process that gets us towards a goal.  To savor the journey.  To realize that the process itself is every bit as perfect and beautiful as the end result.  He asks the reader to consider a flower…is it only perfect at being a flower when it is actually blooming?  What about when it is just a seed in the ground, taking in water and nutrients?  Isn’t it perfect then, as well?  How about when it just starts pushing up a little green shoot to the surface…is it any less perfect then?

Likewise with the blackberries…just because they aren’t fully formed yet and ready for me to eat, doesn’t mean they aren’t perfect…they are doing exactly what they are supposed to be doing right now…growing into some of the most amazing little fruits ever created (IMHO, that is).

I don’t know about you, but this is a concept that I have a hard time applying to my own life.  I am more likely instead to look at where I am in life now, decide it isn’t where I want to be, and get lousy with disappointment.  Perfection in the process?  Sometimes hard for me to see.  Especially this past Sunday.

It was a long weekend, so when I wasn’t hiking, I decided to tackle a linen closet that I hadn’t really peeked into the back of since I moved into my townhouse over 12 years ago. I figured I would put on a little music and clean that sucker out.

I put on my Pandora station that plays a ton of Coldplay, Adele, Ray LaMontagne, and Mazzy Star. As it turned out, not the most uplifting choice for closet cleaning. As I threw away old makeup and cough medicine, I got towards the back and found some old bows I used to wear in my hair. Took me right back to my early 30’s. I also found the first duvet cover I ever bought – a hand-crocheted deal that I thought was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen when I purchased it in my early twenties.

It made me sad. I thought about how my early twenty-year-old self would have been devastated to find out that here I was, about to turn 49, still single, doing a task I always thought I’d do with a life partner.  How disappointed she would be to know that we hadn’t “arrived” yet or figured out how to actually have it all together instead of just always trying to make it look that way.

Coldplay does not help when I start to feel sad about my life.

I thought about how I still don’t weigh what I want to weigh.  How I’m still looking for Mr. Right.  How I still struggle to stay on top of my laundry and am not in the habit of cooking myself wonderful healthy meals every night like my mom always did. I thought about all the things I have prayed to God about, asking Him to help me overcome this bad habit or that self-destructive pattern and how I never seem to make any progress.  I thought about all the unfinished art projects I have laying around and all the stuff I’ve accumulated…for what?

What a disappointment.  This is not how I thought 49 was going to look.  At all.

I suck.

Thank you, Coldplay!

The tears were just starting to fill my eyes when I felt a familiar little nudge down deep in my soul.  Whispers from my God.

“What on earth are you doing?  Just yesterday you were thanking Me for all the ways I have worked in your life…now your life has been a waste?  You think you’re a loser because you don’t have it all figured out yet? What happened to the girl who was joyfully splashing around in the creek with her dog yesterday, happy as pie?  Why is she letting Chris Martin make her feel like crap?”

Maybe it was time to switch the station.

See, this is what happens when I let my brain run around unsupervised.  Mind you, I really had been teary-eyed just twenty-four hours earlier, thinking of how blessed I am and how excited I am to walk through what’s left of my life in whatever adventure God has planned for me.  But now I was focusing on how far I haven’t come.

Not ONE thing had changed in those 24 hours when it came to my circumstances.  Okay, yes, I was 24 hours older, and I might’ve gained a pound of water weight, but other than that?  Everything was exactly as it was 24 hours earlier.  It was only my mind looking at my life and deciding that where I am now is less than perfect.  That it’s unsatisfactory.

This is one of the things I love about my God.  He is very forward focused.  He is right here with me in the present, excitedly pointing me towards what He has for me tomorrow… and the next day…and the day after that.  He takes where I am NOW and makes it beautiful.  Perfect.  And little by little, day by day, I become more and more of exactly who He is creating me to be to fulfill His purpose for me on the planet.

I switched the station.

I’ve got a kick-ass mix of music that does nothing but remind me how amazing my God is and how much He’s done for me.  How much I am loved by Him.  How beautiful His plan is.

“You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of the dust.”

“You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of us.”

The lyrics are Gungor’s, but the idea behind the lyrics has been sung about and meditated on forever.  And it just keeps being true.

I am writing this post this week for anyone else out there who finds themselves thinking they are a loser because they’re buying the lie that they’re behind schedule in becoming what they’re meant to be.  Anyone who feels like they are not where they’re supposed to be in this thing called life.   All you single ladies!  (And gents!)  All you married folks waiting for the next “thing” in life!  All of you other folks wondering who Chris Martin is!

Can we lock arms this week and agree that we are going to emphatically remind ourselves that we are in process?  That the process itself is beautiful…in and of itself?  That we will keep looking forward and most importantly, keep looking at the God who is shaping us and molding us into who He designed us to be?

You know, the God who isn’t done writing our story yet.

Who’s with me?